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Dating and NLP Seduction FAQ

v2.01 - Sponsored by NLP Plus ORIGINAL
Written by William Anthony, C.Ht, NLP. Includes original concepts by William
Created 06 Aug 2005

This is NOT the latest FAQ. for the most up-to-date FAQ, go here.

This is a basic Seduction FAQ. The purpose of this FAQ is to lay the basic foundation for your dating and seduction approaches with women, and provide simple dating tips to get you started.


Neural Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Hypnosis

You need at least a basic understanding of NLP and hypnosis to understand this FAQ. If you don't have a background in Neuro Linguistic Programming - the science of understanding your own mind - go out and get it.

It is not the intention of this FAQ to contain long and complex seduction or dating concepts. The intention of this FAQ is to remain as short and concise as possible. With that in mind, you may find this FAQ becoming shorter and shorter each time you visit, while containing more and more information. Such is dating and seduction...

If you are going to be successful in dating, you need to understand how and why women think what they do. It's important that you accept and face these concepts and not turn away from them. If you start off by whining about the differences between men and women you are just going to be dating your hand for the rest of your life.

For now, this embraces personal seduction. Online dating is not covered here. Note to women - much of this applies to women who want to date men as well!

Seduction starts with Rapport as it is taught in NLP. Rapport is the Core. Without rapport, seduction is not possible. The quickest path to any SEDUCTION is Rapport!!!

1. Female Seduction Psychology:

According to NLP Plus, we all have three basic instincts. There are the only three paths for getting into a a someone's mind, and that is through the three instincts: SEXUAL, SURVIVAL (includes safety & self-esteem), and SOCIAL. Using these instincts, anyone can get into anyone else's mind.

  1. SURVIVAL: In today's society, more than ever, a girl's chief concern is security and safety. Violence against women and a feeling of constant threat is very real, and while this might be difficult for some men to understand, it's critical to understanding women. Imagine a woman walking down the street and having all males eyes upon her - constantly. Do you understand the feeling of vulnerability this gives a woman? Types of security girls look for in a guy are:
    (a) Physical safety: a guy with muscles can protect her from dangers.
    (b) Monetary safety: Money buys options, security, and privacy. Money also buys a good time.
    (c) Intellectual Safety: A quick-witted man that can talk his way out of anything with a smile.
    If you do not have (a) or (b), you must at least posses (c). Got it? Good.
  2. SOCIAL: Women are concerned with social appearances and social approval more than most men. A woman's choice in a man often reflects what she wants others to think about her. She might want a man she can show off in front of her friends. So, at the very least, a man needs to be funny and entertaining! MAKE HER LAUGH!!!
  3. SOCIAL: In every poll ever taken the most consistent requirement every girl wants in a guy is a sense of humor, period. You've absolutely got to smile and make her laugh. So, learn some jokes, dude!
  4. SOCIAL: Because women meet more disappointing men than good men, a man that is already attached (boyfriend, married, etc) is seen as having been pre-approved by another woman, and is therefore a good "catch".
  5. SEXUAL: Women want sex just as much as men do. Every man and woman is a secret slut. Every woman wants a guy that is good in bed. On the surface, a woman will get an initial opinion on how good a guy is in bed by 1) how well he dances, or 2) how smoothly he normally moves.
  6. SEXUAL, SOCIAL, SURVIVAL Women want a man that is emotionally interesting.
  7. SOCIAL: The competitive spirit is part of the basic human drive for success. Women compete for men. The same way men compete in sports, women compete for men. In a women's mind it is definitely a sport and some even call it that.
  8. SURVIVAL: Some women have self-esteem and confidence problems. They crave a man that will boost that, not by telling them how good they are but by challenging them to do better. The drive to be better is a powerful human need.
  9. SEXUAL, SOCIAL, SURVIVAL: A woman's sense of self is linked to what she thinks about her body. The less clothes she wears, the more PROUD she is about her body. She wants nothing to do with a man that is embarrassed by her looks - after would you want to be with a girl that was embarrassed by you? Hot women not only know that they are hot, they are proud of it and want it acknowledged.
  10. SEXUAL, SURVIVAL: All hot women use their bodies to get what they want. They are both proud and guilty of this. This guilt can be used.
  11. Guys search for cause/effect meaning. Women search for emotional meaning. Behind any communication a woman NEEDS to FEEL and UNDERSTAND your intentions. Problems occur if she either doesn't FEEL she knows your intentions, or she doesn't approve of what she feels your intentions are.
  12. One of the most crucial things a woman looks for in a guy is emotional honesty - intense and focused emotions, and the ability to switch between then rapidly - INTENSITY!
  13. Any girl can be seen as somewhere between a slut and a princess. You must SEE her accurately in this scale or you will not have a chance with her Most girls are more of a slut than a princess (you'll know a princess - she wears throat-tight collars)

"Look, from the time I was 15 until I was 26 I didn't believe anything any man ever said to me, ever."
  - Jackie, fashion model, stripper, Hooters girl

2. The Most Important Dating and Seduction Rule, Ever!

This should actually be the ONLY dating and seduction rule... First, a preamble... Dating and Seduction is about emotional communication. It's all about an emotional relationship between a man and a woman - pure and simple. Dating and seduction is about an emotional relationship between a man and a woman. Let me repeat that: DATING AND SEDUCTION IS ABOUT AN EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN!!!

It is the job of the man to emotionally move the girl. The mistake most men make is to wait for the woman to feel good about the relationship before he does. No, no, no... that's emotional begging, see. "Please, girl, feel good about us, so I can feel good about us?". Ack!

The second Rule is this:
The Man Makes the Emotion. YOU must feel it FIRST before she can feel it.

In Neuro Linguistic Programming, this is called LEADING.

3. The Basic Dating and Seduction Approaches

Never approach a women with a sense of neediness. If you feel especially desperate or needy, do not approach a woman.

  1. Always be positive. In general, you want to approach her with the same attitude that you want HER to have towards YOU, and it MUST be a positive attitude, or you will get shot down real fast.
  2. Sigmund Freud one said that seeing is "ultimately derived from touching" This means what we see, and how we see, tells us how much we want to touch someone. Skin and hair especially. Keep your skin clean, tight, and healthy. Hair is alluring, but only on the head. Keep your hair cut neat and well combed.
  3. Always smile - with your entire face. Practice smiling in a mirror. Your smile one of your most powerful seduction tools. Certain types of smiles are irresistibly attractive on any face. Small smiles come across as feminine, but men with wide, broad smiles are overwhelmingly masculine and highly sexually attractive to women. many studies have proven that the absence of a smile has an enormous impact on a woman's perception of a man. A man that is not smiling is perceived as less happy, less carefree, less relaxed, and less attractive than smiling men (Deutsch, LeBaron, and Fryer, 1987)
  4. Women like men with large eyes and wide smiles. According to sexual psychologist Michael Cunningham, large eyes in a man are a neotenous (young and sexually mature) cue, associated with babies, awakening a woman's nurturing instinct and makes her want to do things for her man.
  5. You've simply got to have more energy than she does. Show it by displaying positive enthusiasm (yeah!). Yang style Chi Kung is strongly recommended.
  6. Always, always, always know what emotional state you want her to feel next - and then you go there first.
  7. Whatever you do, don't be boring. No matter how rich and good looking you are, you'll be kicked to the dating curb fast if you are boring.

Basic Seduction Prep

Women are concerned with their own personal appearance to the point of obsession. So, if she's spent hours on HER clothes, face, hair, etc. you better believe she's going to notice YOUR clothes, face, hair.

  1. Your clothes better be clean and unwrinkled
  2. A close shave is mandatory
  3. Women notice hair. Lots of guys screw up in the hair department. Have a neat and clean haircut. Those ends must be even.
  4. If you use a cologne - Obsession by Calvin Klein. It's by far the most popular scent with women. Or a clean shower and no cologne at all - let your natural scent do the talking. And, don't forget to brush your teeth.
  5. While Seduction is about give and take, sometimes it's about dominance and submission. Women look at shoes, for many reasons. But shoes are also a huge phallic symbol and for that reason, women like shoes that they can kiss. Yes, that's right - KISS (see, I knew you'd be surprised). That means, no sneakers. That means, a nice pair of leather shoes or boots with a high shine on them.
  6. You older guys - trim that ear and nose hair!
  7. Smile!

A word on pheromones: Look, the perfume and cologne business is a $15 Billion industry. If it were possible to make a cologne scented with pheromones that turned women into crazed sexual beings at first breath, don't you think one of the major fragrance companies would have invented it by now? The truth is, pheromones are organic - that's right, they are alive. And you can't collect live organisms and sell them in a bottle.

Pheromones come from your armpits and your breath, as well as your skin.  If you want your own body's pheromones to work for you, do what I do - brush your teeth really well, take a good clean shower, and instead of cologne or deodorant put Johnson's Baby Powder under your armpits. Baby powder (which women love the smell of, by the way) absorbs excess perspiration, while letting your natural pheromone musk do it's sexual magic. I recommend this for a night out on the town. Enhance the scent of your own pheromones by avoiding coffee and eating plenty of fruit, especially strawberries.

Quickie Dating Conversation Guide

  1. Never talk about the following emotionally boring conversations: computers, politics, work. Never talk about computers.
  2. Talk about relationships: "How do you get along with your mother/father?" "Do you think that couple over there loves each other?"
  3. Another good relationship dating conversation is What's The Difference questions. Example: she says she feels it's her destiny to do something, you ask" "What's the difference between destiny and fate?"
  4. Tell interesting and vivid stories about your life. The more emotionally powerful, the better. How you met your best friend? Something your grandfather or grandmother once did? A story your Uncle told you? The happiest moment in your life? This type of dating talk is so common, it's the dating talk you usually see in movies.

The Types of Seduction Connections

Successful seduction requires a common Rapport connection. This connection is mutual, two-way, and sincere. These connections are firmly based upon the NLP Plus Plus Points:

  1. Breath: Breath directly relates to emotions. A Seduction Connection that occurs at this level equates to both of you sharing the same emotional feeling.
  2. Body: This directly relates to both of you being physically attracted to each other. If you are focused on how hot she looks, she will be focused on how hot she thinks you look. This is why you often see couples with similar physical body types.
  3. Mind: This directly relates to what you are thinking - sharing the same ideas and concepts, but more than that, powerful connections are formed if you both share and understand each others motivation and intentions (see 1.8 above).
  4. Motion: This directly relates to what you are doing - a common goal.

Neuro Linguistic Programming Seduction Approach #1 - Comfort, Trust, Attraction

This is very simple. If you've followed everything on this page, and you've grabbed rapport, this should be a snap for you to pull off. During normal conversation, you are going to mention the word 'comfortable' while doing a slight self-point. Then, later, you'll mention the word 'trust' with the same self-point. Finally, you'll mention the word 'attraction' and self-point again.

For you NLP buffs, Comfortable, Trust, and Attraction is the simplest seduction strategy, period.

More later... at this time, if you want to continue I recommend - Speed Seduction - and, of course, NLP Plus