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Dating and NLP Seduction FAQ

v3.00 - Sponsored by NLP Plus
Written by William Anthony, C.Ht, NLP. Includes original concepts by William
Created 06 Aug 2005

You are reading a basic Seduction FAQ. This FAQ lays the basic foundation for dating and seduction approaches with women, and provides simple dating tips to get you started.

Note: This FAQ is written in Limited E-Prime. E-Prime discourages the use of the verb "is" or "to be". Because a document written completely in E-Prime can result in the misinterpretation of identity statements (and NLP is big on identity statements), making it difficult to make clear definitions of new concepts, this document makes a limited use of the verb "to be". The advantage in seduction? Speaking in E-Prime forces you to speak in a very active voice, making you much more entertaining! Want to see the difference? See the original version of this FAQ here


Neural Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Hypnosis

You need at least a basic understanding of NLP and hypnosis to understand this FAQ. If you don't have a background in Neuro Linguistic Programming - the science of understanding your own mind - go out and get it!

You won't see any long and complex seduction or dating concepts here. Instead, you will find that this FAQ will remain as short and concise as possible. With that in mind, you may find this FAQ becoming shorter and shorter each time you visit, while containing more and more information. Such is dating and seduction...

If you want to be successful in dating, you need to understand how and why women think. It's important to accept and face these concepts and not turn away from them. If you start off by whining about the differences between men and women, you continue to date your hand for the rest of your life.

For now, this embraces personal seduction. Online dating is not covered here. Note to women - much of this applies to women who want to date men as well!

Seduction starts with Rapport as taught in NLP Plus. Rapport is the Core. Without rapport, seduction is not possible. The quickest path to any SEDUCTION is Rapport!!!

1. Female Seduction Psychology:

According to NLP Plus, we all have only three basic instincts, which are also the only paths for getting into a someone's mind. These three instincts are: SEXUAL (includes creativity and growth), SURVIVAL (includes safety and self-esteem), and SOCIAL.

These three instincts enable anyone to sincerely connect with anyone else. You must understand how important, how vital, how crucial, how critical, that you must understand each and every point laid out below. Leave nothing out. Understand it all. If you need to start from a zero point of personal seduction incompetence, then ignore no step below. The below list contains nothing extraneous.

You need to understand it all. Understand???

  1. SURVIVAL: In today's society, more than ever, a girl's chief concern is security and safety. Violence against women and a feeling of constant threat can be very real, and while this might be difficult for some men to understand, you must understand how important security is to women for you to understand women. Imagine an attractive woman walking down the street and having all males eyes upon her - constantly. Do you understand the feeling of extreme vulnerability this gives a woman? Not to mention the lack of privacy. Types of security girls look for in a guy are:
    (a) Physical Safety: a guy with muscles protects her from danger.
    (b) Monetary Safety: Money buys options, security, and privacy. Money also buys a good time.
    (c) Intellectual or Emotional Safety: A quick-witted man that can talk his way out of anything with a smile.
    If you do not have (a) or (b), you must at least posses (c). Got it? Good.
  2. SOCIAL: Women are very concerned with social appearances, social approval, and social status more than most men. A woman's choice in a man often reflects what she wants others to think about her. She likes a man she can show off in front of her friends. So, at the very least, a man should be funny and entertaining! MAKE HER LAUGH!!!
  3. SOCIAL: Read every poll ever taken about what women want in a man and you'll read that the most consistent requirement every girl wants in a guy is a sense of humor, period. You've absolutely got to smile and MAKE HER LAUGH!
  4. SOCIAL: Women classify men into two very broad categories - men that do not date at all, and everybody else. If other women don't want to date you, then she will think that you are socially unacceptable (remember, dating and courtship is a SOCIAL behavior). Understand that women meet more disappointing men than good men. So, a man that she finds already attached (boyfriend, married, etc) has the stamp of being pre-approved by another woman, which automatically makes him a a possible date.
  5. SEXUAL: Women want sex just as much as men do. Every woman wants a guy that knows how to perform in bed. On the surface, a woman will get an initial opinion on how good a guy is in bed by 1) how well he dances, and/or 2) how smoothly he normally moves. So what do you do? MOVE SMOOTHLY! Do not move in an awkward to jerky manner. Be graceful. Move smoothly. THIS TIP ALONE CAN MAKE YOU MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN YOU HAVE EVER BEEN IN YOUR LIFE!
  6. SEXUAL, SOCIAL, SURVIVAL Women want a man that is emotionally interesting. Don't be a Vulcan. Show emotions.
  7. SOCIAL: The competitive spirit makes up part of the basic human drive for success. Women compete for good men. In the same way men compete in sports, women compete for men. In a women's mind getting good men is definitely a sport and many women even call it that!
  8. SURVIVAL: Society has given many women low self-esteem and confidence problems. They desperately crave a man that will boost how they feel about themselves, not by telling them how good they are but by praising their choices and challenging them to do better. The drive to become a better person motivates women to do many things, including dating a man that will make her feel better about herself.
  9. SEXUAL, SOCIAL, SURVIVAL: As a woman matures, her sense of self becomes strongly linked to how she thinks about her body. The less clothes she wears, or the tighter the fit, the more PROUD she feels about her body. She wants nothing to do with a man that acts embarrassed by her looks - after all, would you want to be with a girl that acted embarrassed by what you are proud of? Hot women not only know that they are hot, they are proud of it and want it acknowledged. (what's important is HOW you acknowledge it). This simple fact separates the AFCs from the players.
  10. SEXUAL, SURVIVAL: All hot women use their bodies to get what they want. They are both proud and guilty of this. This guilt must be understood.

Other things you must know:

  1. Guys search for cause/effect meaning. Women search for emotional meaning. Behind any communication a woman SHE MUST FEEL and UNDERSTAND your intentions. Distrust always occurs if she either doesn't FEEL she knows your intentions, or she doesn't approve of what she feels your intentions are.
  2. Women always look for emotional honesty - intense and focused emotions, and the ability to switch between them rapidly - INTENSITY!
  3. Any girl can be seen as somewhere between a slut and a princess. You must SEE her accurately in this scale or you will not have a chance with her Most girls are more of a slut than a princess (you'll know a princess - she wears throat-tight collars)

"Look, from the time I was 15 until I was 26 I didn't believe anything any man ever said to me, ever."
  - Jackie, HB10, fashion model, stripper, Hooters girl

2. The Most Important Dating and Seduction Rule, Ever!

You are about to read the ONLY significant dating and seduction rule... First, a preamble... Successful Dating and Seduction becomes a search for meaningful emotional communication, and an emotional relationship between a man and a woman - pure and simple. Dating and seduction is about an emotional relationship between a man and a woman. Let me repeat that:

Seduction creates an EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP between a man and a woman!

It is the job of the man to emotionally move the girl. The mistake most men make is to wait for the woman to feel good about the relationship before he does. No, no, no... that';s emotional begging, see. "Please, girl, feel good about us, so I can feel good about us?". Ack!

The second Rule is this:
The Man Makes the Emotion. YOU must feel it FIRST before she can feel it.

Neuro Linguistic Programming calls this LEADING.

3. The Seven Basic Dating and Seduction Approaches

Never approach a women with a sense of neediness. If you feel especially desperate or needy, do not approach a woman, go home and chill.

  1. Always have a positive attitude. In general, you want to approach her with the same attitude that you want HER to have towards YOU, and this MUST be a positive attitude, or you will get shot down real fast. (some of the more advanced seduction techniques, such as D&S and Role Play, do not follow this rule)
  2. Sigmund Freud once said that "seeing is ultimately derived from touching" This means what we see, and how we see, tells us how much we want to touch someone. Skin and hair especially. Keep your skin clean and healthy. Women find well-groomed hair very alluring, but only on the head. Keep your hair cut neat and well combed.
  3. Always smile - with your entire face. Practice smiling in a mirror. You will soon discover that your smile becomes your easiest and most powerful seduction tool. Women find certain smiles irresistibly attractive on any face. Small smiles come across as feminine, but men with wide, broad smiles are overwhelmingly masculine that women see as highly sexually attractive. Many studies have proven that the absence of a smile has an enormous impact on a woman's perception of a man. A man that is not smiling is perceived as less happy, less carefree, less relaxed, and less attractive than smiling men (Deutsch, LeBaron, and Fryer, 1987)
  4. Women like men with large eyes and wide smiles. According to sexual psychologist Michael Cunningham, large eyes in a man are a neotenous (young and sexually mature) cue, associated with babies, awakening a woman's nurturing instinct and makes her want to do things for her man.
  5. You must display more energy than she does. Show it by displaying positive enthusiasm (yeah!). Yang style Chi Kung is strongly recommended.
  6. Always, always, always know what emotional state you want her to feel next - and then you go there first.
  7. Whatever you do, don't act boring. No matter how rich and good looking you are, you'll be kicked to the dating curb fast if you act boring.

Basic Seduction Prep

Women are concerned with their own personal appearance to the point of obsession. So, if she's spent hours on HER clothes, face, hair, etc. you better believe she's going to notice YOUR clothes, face, hair.

  1. Your clothes better be clean and unwrinkled.
  2. A close shave is mandatory
  3. Women notice hair. Lots of guys screw up in the hair department. Have a neat and clean haircut. Those ends must be even. Have your hair trimmed at least once a month.
  4. If you use a cologne - Obsession by Calvin Klein. Most women love it. Or a clean shower and no cologne at all - let your natural scent do the talking. And, don't forget to brush your teeth.
  5. While Seduction is about give and take, sometimes it's about dominance and submission. Women look at shoes, for many reasons. But shoes are also a huge phallic symbol and for that reason, women like shoes that they can kiss. Yes, that's right - KISS (see, I knew you'd be surprised). That means, no sneakers. That means, a nice pair of leather shoes or boots with a high shine on them.
  6. You older guys - trim that ear and nose hair!
  7. Smile!

A word on pheromones: Look, the perfume and cologne business is a $15 Billion industry. If it were possible to make a cologne scented with pheromones that turned women into crazed sexual beings at first breath, don't you think one of the major fragrance companies would have invented long ago? The truth is, pheromones are organic - that's right, they are alive. And you can not collect live organisms and sell them in a bottle.

Most pheromones come from your armpits, your breath, and your skin. If you want your own body's pheromones to work for you, do what I do - brush your teeth really really well, take a good clean shower, use a little antiperspirant and put Johnson's Baby Powder under your armpits. Baby powder (which women love the smell of, by the way) absorbs excess perspiration, while letting your natural pheromone musk perform it's sexual magic. I strongly recommend this for a night out on the town. Enhance the scent of your own pheromones by avoiding coffee and eating plenty of fruit, especially strawberries.

Quickie Dating Conversation Guide

The intention of dating conversation is to get to know each other. you want to know what's important to her, what motivates her, makes her tick.

  1. Never talk about the following emotionally boring conversations: computers, politics, work. Never talk about computers.
  2. Talk about relationships: "How do you get along with your mother/father?" "Do you think that couple over there loves each other?"
  3. Another good relationship dating conversation is What's The Difference questions. Example: she says she feels it's her destiny to do something, you ask" "What's the difference between destiny and fate?" Or ask her fun decision questions:
    - "What are your five favorite movies?"
    - "Anthony Hopkins or Christopher Walken?"
  4. Tell her interesting and vivid stories about your life. The more emotionally powerful, the better. How did you meet your best friend? Something your grandfather or grandmother once did? A story your Uncle told you? The happiest moment in your life? This type of dating talk is so successful, it's the dating talk you usually see in movies.

The Types of Seduction Connections

Successful seduction requires a common Rapport connection. This connection is mutual, two-way, and sincere. These connections are firmly based upon the NLP Plus Plus Points:

  1. Breath: Breath directly relates to emotions. A Seduction Connection that occurs at this level equates to both of you sharing the same emotional feeling.
  2. Body: This directly relates to both of you being physically attracted to each other. If you are focused on how hot she looks, she will be focused on how hot she thinks you look. This is why you often see couples with similar physical body types.
  3. Mind: This directly relates to what you are thinking - sharing the same ideas and concepts, but more than that, powerful connections are formed if you both share and understand each others motivation and intentions (see 1.8 above).
  4. Motion: This directly relates to what you are doing - a common goal.

Neuro Linguistic Programming Seduction Approach - Comfort, Trust, Attraction

This is very simple. If you've read, understood, and agree with everything on this page, and you've grabbed rapport, this will be ridiculously easy for you to pull off. During normal conversation, just mention the word 'comfortable' while doing a slight self-point. Then, later, you'll mention the word 'trust' with the same self-point. Finally, you'll mention the word 'attraction' and self-point again.

For you NLP buffs, Comfortable, Trust, and Attraction is the simplest seduction strategy, period.

More later... at this time, if you want to continue I recommend - Speed Seduction™ - and, of course, NLP Plus